Grace demonstrates seven Hridaya yoga warming practices.
Ready to Evolve
I have been anticipating this post for a very long time. I am filled with joy to tell you about some of the most exciting decisions of my life. They haven’t been easy and some have taken every ounce of courage to jump over the fears of my past conditioning. A friend who I briefly knew in Seoul recently messaged me asking me how I can just go all over the world and do what I want to do without fear. My immediate response was, “Of course I’m afraid!” But I am learning the difference between fears that keep you alive and fears that keep you from living. I am determined to manifest my dreams and I’m so happy that you are a part of them.
And with that, here they are!
Welcome to my new website: Bewholebehappy.com
This has been months in the making and years in the thinking. I actually almost bought this domain name 5 years ago in a café in India after I left Korea the last time. But I knew at that time I was not ready for whatever developing a website means. Now I know it means quite a bit of organization and vision, some money, and a lot of support. A few things are still being tweaked, but it is ready to share with the world.
Why Be Whole Be Happy?
Because as Swami Vivekananda says, “Happiness is our birthright. Happiness is the treasure of our soul.” Happiness exists inside us. It is there waiting for us. Through the process to authentic living, we can uncover our whole self, and discover and experience happiness every day.
I would love for you to visit my website and sign up for my new mailing list. I’ll be sending out periodic emails as I have been the past few years, with more frequency but the same integrity and honesty that you’ve come to expect from me.
The first thing you’ll notice on the site is my name, Grace. I’ve decided to change my teaching name to Grace. My international communities have known me as Grace for a number of years, as have some communities around the US. I made this decision for a number of reasons. First, it reminds me every time I hear it of the Divine influence in my life and the inseparability of Divine Will from my own will. In that way, it is something of a “spiritual name” as it brings me closer to Spirit when I hear and say it. And hopefully it does for you, too. It was a surprise to both me and my mom when I found out a few years ago that Karissa actually means Grace in Greek. If you’ve known me as Karissa, you don’t have to start calling me Grace. But that’s how I’ll be introducing myself in the teaching world from now on.
Please also note my new email address: [email protected].
One more joyous announcement: I’m teaming up with another Tantric Yoga teacher from Portland, Amitayus, to begin offering courses in both Seattle and Portland this spring and summer. We have a lot scheduled for this year already. You can see the first few offerings in Upcoming Courses on my website. You’ll also see our name –Spanda Tantra Yoga – on our offerings. Come to an event to see what it’s all about! We are so very excited to continue our teachings together and create a larger community of like-minded, truth-seeking, consciously awakening souls in the northwest. I hope you will join us!
I’m also delighted to return to Three Trees Yoga to offer some of my favorite series beginning on April 20th. First, a satsang (community of truth) based on The Crest Jewel of Discrimination, a 1000 year old text by Adi Shankacarya. Click here for more information on this Yoga off the Mat series. Second, Journey with me into the Sacred Feminine. Tantra is all about connecting to Shakti – the life force, power, creation and manifestation that surrounds us in every form. This series is limited to 12 women. We start on April 20 in Federal Way and June 2 in Seattle. Don’t miss it!
Before I return to Seattle in early April, I am taking a month on the island of Koh Phangan in Thailand to decompress and study. I’m doing a few intensive courses at Agama Yoga to renew my personal inspiration from gifted teachers. And taking a lot of time to reflect on this past year and a half in Asia. I feel that the tides are shifting for me. I’m starting to uncover some of the shadows of my past and making room for what really serves me and my global community. This year is latent with new expressions of joyful teaching, inspiring teachers and blessed choices. I pray that my vision will lead me and all those who join on the path to more awakened decisions, free from past karma and full of creative and limitless energy!
Love and Gratitude,
Karissa – Grace
Coming Home – Inside & Out
Here we are, embarking on a new journey around the sun. Another winter solstice has passed and we are slowly returning to the light. So, now what? I hear that question a lot and every time I greet it with a new response.
Now we pause for gratitude.
Now we breathe in the life around us.
Now we get quiet and listen.
Now we learn and grow.
Now we dance and sing.
Now we shed the old and make way for the new.
Now…we stop.
Winter is the season of slowing down, of being yin, turning inwards and reflecting quietly. I have taken some time in the past few months to reflect on my intention of 2015 to trust my intuition and that little voice and feeling in my gut that says, “Yes!” or “No.” I’ve found that the more I listen to it, the more it rings like a gong instead of dinging like a triangle. It captures my attention and has programmed my mouth to respond authentically, instead of following what I “should” do. And that has created the fearlessness with which I enter 2016…and return to you.
The notion of “coming home” is very sacred in the mystic traditions of this planet. It is called many names, but always means returning to who we really are, instead of living from the limitations we create for ourselves. This year I’m so excited to embark on some new authentic offerings with courageous and inspiring teachers here in Seoul and in the Pacific Northwest. The rumors are true: I’ll be in Seattle in early April and will spend the Spring and Summer offering workshops, courses and retreats in the Seattle and Portland area, and beyond. With these offerings comes the call to “come home,” to step into the light and to manifest the life that truly inspires you.
I am in the process of creating a new website and fine-tuning the offerings I am most inspired to share this year. While I have some ideas already lined up, I am also open to the needs and desires of my communities near and far.
So, here is my call to you: Join me in creating and sharing offerings of authentic exploration and creation!
Contact me with…
- Your personal or professional desire for 1 on 1 Yoga Coaching or Life Coaching
- Connections to yoga studios to host offerings for Conscious Living and Relationships
- Companies, corporations or groups interested in Mindfulness Training
- Retreat or workshop centers geared towards Satsang – Communities of Truth
- Women’s groups yearning to explore the Sacred Feminine
- Inspired ideas for collaboration
Stay tuned for another email this month with dates and details. And in the meantime, let’s set a collective intention to fearlessly connect with those who inspire us to be more than what we think we are. I’ve created a vision board with the teachers who most inspire me and with whom I’d like to study and share. For I’ve found that the only limitations I have are those I impose on myself. Let’s shatter those limitations and grow together.
I Belong Here – I Am at Home
I must start by saying that however near or far we may be, I am grateful that you are a part of my community. I continue to be reminded how important resonance with like-minded, inspiring souls is as I walk this globe and connect with people from unbelievably different circumstances. My community in Seoul continues to expand into different circles, but as usual the people I feel most drawn to and inspired by are those on a path of self-discovery and self-growth. This is the path of Yoga, of finding your truest self through disciplined and continuous searching, cleansing, practicing, sharing and connecting.
It has been many months since I have reached out. And while some things have changed, as they always do, some things have also stayed the same, like my challenge of living in a city of 10+ million people, 25 million in the metropolitan area. The buzzing energy of this city is exciting and exhausting and I am trying to balance how to stay open to the flow of life but also not get sucked into the mainstream ways of living. Fortunately, I do have some really wonderful friends here, both Korean and other nationalities, who support my journey and keep me smiling. The generous Universe has recently thrown some spirits my way who remind me that people who choose to live with consciousness and awareness exist everywhere and that maybe I am the fool for not looking for it more often.
Teaching Yoga
An interesting calling and intuition has appeared lately: to introduce Korea to the style of Yoga that I find most beneficial and direct, Agama Yoga. Not only through my own teachings, but perhaps in inspiring people to go and immerse themselves in a Yoga community. Today I taught a Diving Deep: Yoga to Open the Heart Workshop and by the time the class was over, you could see the cracked-open souls who were daring to bare their hearts to one another. When I first advertised it 3 weeks ago, the class filled up in 24 hours. I have more workshops on the calendar and plan to offer a Transformative Women’s Journey this summer. While I don’t have the energy to teach a full schedule of yoga classes in addition to full-time teaching, etc., I think teaching regular classes is something that I will manifest for the 2nd half of my time here, both in Korean and in English. Plus it really motivates me to study Korean, more than learning conversations about going to the post office. There is always the fine line of boundaries, of knowing when to rest and when to act, and I will listen as best I can to my energy levels and daily need to recharge.
A Prayer
I pray that your world is shimmering with Shakti’s radiant dance and Shiva’s full-on consciousness. May you also take the time soon to connect or reconnect with those who inspire you and whom you in turn inspire. And may this quote from the Radiance Sutras remind you, as it reminds me, that we are always at home.
Enter the bowl of vastness that is the heart.
Listen to the song that is always resonating.
Give yourself to it with total abandon.
Quiet ecstasy is here –
And a steady, regal sense
Of resting in a perfect spot.
You who are the embodiment of blessing,
Once you know the way,
The nature of attention will call you to return.
Again and again, answer that call,
And be saturated with knowing,
“I belong here, I am at home.”
– The Radiance Sutras, #26
Quietly Rejoicing
I’ve been living in Korea again nearly 2 months now and the only real observation I can make is that I Am Present. I am with the familiar, the unfamiliar, the challenging discomforts, the joyous comforts, the new routines and the constant changes with a seamless ease that makes me feel suspended between this world and another. It’s like I am watching a beautiful life of synchronicities and serendipitous meetings unfold, watching the moments pass by with simultaneous bliss and suffering, and screaming with gratitude all the while.
December in Seoul was a month of loneliness, confusion, heartache, uber-caffeine and a wacky diet, and also a very stable yoga practice with a tapas (discipline) of heavy pranayama and meditation. I had a winter’s hibernation and barely left my house for 6 weeks, taking a lot of silence, reflecting on my cravings for people and things, and accepting my less-than-exuberant emotional and physical state. There was a solid week where I was so angry at myself for coming here and completely convinced that I had made the wrong choice. It was hard. And as I emerge, I feel that the cocoon has preserved and evolved me with stronger and more beautiful wings with which to fly into new and unknown territory.
Connection
Since I started living and teaching in Korea again in early January, I’ve found a lot of companionship and positive energy in my colleagues. I am adjusting my daily practice to move into what supports me while teaching full-time to high-energy kindergartners, abstained for 3 weeks from coffee and sugar, and seriously reset my diet. I enter a new month feeling energized, excited for the year ahead, and without fear or doubt that I am right where I need to be, learning lessons I have been perfectly ripened for.
I am blessed to be on a 10-month journey with a group of people moving through the yamas and niyamas, the traditional ways to live according to the Yoga path. This week we began month five, aparigraha or non-attachment, which I find to be the crux of a spiritual lifestyle. The basis of non-attachment for me is TRUST, which is my intention for 2015. The more I actually let go, relax into the intelligence of the Universe, and laugh at the ridiculousness of my claim to know anything, the easier I can accept what comes and let go of what goes. It is a dance that takes practice, precision, and expertise, and eventually completely freeing oneself of all those things. Good thing I packed my dancing shoes.
New Opportunities
When I first got to Seoul, the Universe directed me to a few interesting opportunities which I decided to pursue. One was to audition for an international choir which has a pretty solid rehearsal and performance schedule throughout the year. I haven’t sung in a choir in many, many years so I was excited and nervous when I found out a few weeks ago that I was accepted. We started rehearsals last week and already my soul is rejoicing at getting to make music with trained singers and sing in beautiful, beneficial engagements around Korea. Apparently, this year is one of making music for me, with teaching music full-time and singing once or twice a week with the choir. And in this, a part of me that’s been trying to get my attention for a while quietly rejoices.
Another opportunity was a small organization I found that coaches and tutors North Korean refugees living in Seoul. I expressed interest in volunteering a few weeks ago and am now coaching two North Korean refugees on telling their story and speaking about how to change things for North Koreans and refugees. One has already been accepted to speak at three engagements in the US in two weeks, and I have a feeling they will both be frequently commissioned as the national and global energy for Korean Unification grows this year. I’ve started posting on the Supporters without Borders page with links, information, and how you can help if you’re interested. I personally believe Korean Unification is imminent and it’s up to us an international community to offer much-needed support however we can. Please visit the page and offer your encouragement!
I made a few blog posts earlier this month with some photos of the adorable kids in my school and my quaint and peaceful apartment. I also posted about my visa trip to Japan, a hilarious comedy of errors that involved traveling to Japan and back twice in subsequent weeks to get my Korean work visa.
The Usual Unexpected Twists
Quite unexpectedly, right after I started my job, I was asked if I could teach yoga to the staff one evening a week. It became obvious that there was a lot of interest, so I accepted and we began our classes tonight. Six women attended, with many more excited to join next week, and they have already asked me to teach several times a week for 2+ hours a class. That sort of aspiration cannot go unheeded, in my opinion. I had no intention of teaching yoga this year and thought that I would take a little sabbatical, but I warmly welcome this opportunity and hope that my students will find peace, balance, and restoration from our practices together. I am in jaw-dropping awe of where the Universe has already led me in the past 7 weeks and baffled to even imagine what this year in Korea will look like.
Which leads me to my wrap up and take home from this lengthy post: be open to what comes.
Life is endlessly unexpected, and being present is the only way to embrace the stream of blessings and be in love with every moment. If you want to experience being present and how to suffer from your notions and expectations, try teaching anything (especially kindergarten) for a day. Every time I am stuck in the past or what I think “should” be happening I suffer, and my students also suffer as a byproduct of my power struggle. I see how being attached not only harms me but everyone around me.
I recently read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra and love the techniques he offers in applying detachment to everyday life: “Today I will factor uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of problems, out of confusion, disorder, and chaos. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.”
For me, the gratitude is truly endless. I love living in Korea. I am in love with every moment and amazed at what keeps falling in my lap. May you also experience boundless acceptance and expansion in your days and nights this lunar cycle.
Shattering Our Illusions
I once had a yoga teacher who said, “If you think you’re enlightened, go home.” The point of that statement is that our home is where most of our programming came from. Our samskaras, our patterns, our habits. As I immerse in the study of karma yoga with an eager group of yogis, we all unravel together the illusory bonds that keep us coming back to the causes of our suffering day after day. And where better to remember those than with the sights, smells, and memories that we grew up with. We look at how to shatter the illusions that keep us bound, safe, small and less than our full human and divine potential.
I will admit that part of why I love traveling is going to places where no one knows a thing about me and I can show up fully present to what that moment needs. It’s easy to put down baggage when it’s not attached to my immediate surroundings. And part of why I love coming back is because the hugs, kisses, and chats are so deeply familiar and filled with years of collected understanding.
Can we bridge those two lives? Can we create familial community abroad and non-attached presence at home? Maybe that is part of my yogic exploration on this journey. I’ve recently come to call this ‘shattering the illusions.’ What illusions? All of them that keep us trapped in unconscious living, repetitive patterns that we were ready to break long ago, and stuck in a loop of fear and reaction – towards life and the people we desperately need to help set us free.
I am offering a workshop on Sept. 27th in Seattle – mostly likely my last on American soil this year – on breaking the illusion of separation that we all face through authentic connection with ourselves (on the mat) and others (off the mat). Not just breaking, but shattering. Because it is only a mask, a facade, a mirror reflecting an obscured picture of the world. What is actually shining back at us is pure satchitananda – truth, consciousness and bliss. Come and find it.
What’s Next or What’s Now?
I have been beyond blessed this summer to spend time, both in Seattle and in the beauty of the northwest, with friends, family and loved ones. I danced and loved at two yoga festivals in BC, spent time with the goddesses in my family in Leavenworth, took a spontaneous trip to Whidbey with my beloved partner, and have more adventures planned for my last weeks in the Puget Sound. It’s time I answer the question of, “So, what’s next??”
I have two more weeks teaching musical theater in the Seattle area, along with wrapping up the Transformative Women’s Journey, leading Diving Deep: Yoga to Open the Heart workshop at Three Trees Yoga, and starting a 4-week discussion series called ‘A Practical Guide to Karma Yoga: The Path of Action,’ also at the wonderful home of Three Trees Yoga in Federal Way. If you’ve been curious about how to take your yoga practice into every moment of your life, through your words, actions, and work in the world, this series is for you! Then, beginning August 25th, I will be attending a 4-week intensive CELTA course in English Teaching in Tacoma, so my homebase will move to Federal Way for that time. And then I “plan” to take off around the 1st of October with an English teaching contract somewhere in the world…yet to be manifested!
My last offering of the summer will be a special something that is still brewing. I hope to announce it soon. Stay tuned for a juicy and connecting time that will re-set you on your path through the rest of the year. I would also love to connect with you in my northwest tribe if we haven’t had the chance yet.
As I immerse in the flow of the Universe moment by moment, I find myself laughing and crying at Shakti’s expression of time, the paradoxically limiting and expansive force of our existence. Intimately knowing both groundedness and restlessness, I am surprised to awake each morning to one less day in Seattle and one day closer to the next adventure. Of course, that’s all not real because the Truth is actually what’s unfolding in the present, not the past or the future. I set the intention to show up to every hug, prayer, teachable moment, candlelight dinner, walk in the park, and frustrating thought, equally and attentively, and remind myself through all of those moments that we are not humans reaching for a Divine experience, we are Divine Spirits expressing ourselves through human form. And all you have to do is show up. Easy, right?
Liberated Living
Ten months ago I left Seattle with a very large backpack, an adventurous spirit, the intention to connect to myself and my partner, to find a greater sense of compassion for the world’s diverse peoples, and to let go. I let go, yet again, into liberated living. My practice over the last ten years has brought me to ever-increasing depths of surrender, starting with the first moment in a Bikram class where the Divine Consciousness very clearly told me to “let go, everything will be okay.” These words were repeated by a dear friend later that year at Kripalu as “Let go and Let God.” And this month as I finally overcame my lifelong fear of open water by scuba diving, I told myself over and over again to “Relax, breathe, and let go,” a mantra etched by hours and hours of japa repetition.
Often in practice we are looking for a state of consciousness beyond what we experience in everyday life. And while that has brought me more faith in my practice, the wider goal is bringing the experience of connectedness and Divinity into the waking world. In Tantra, the goal is not just to ascend and skip this worldly stuff. We aim to personally evolve, to be the best human being possible right here and now, to realize the divinity of body, mind, heart, and Spirit, and to live fully and freely. As said beautifully by Sia, “Welcome to the church of what’s happening Now.”
My last week in Koh Phangan, Thailand was marked with a Goddess Celebration hosted by Agama: three blissful days of self-transformation and worshiping Shakti, that aspect of the Divine which IS everything we see and experience. We were transformed into the Goddess – or better said, were able to see ourselves as the Goddesses we are and drop the masks which limit us from experiencing our wholeness every day. I will share many of these practices in the upcoming Transformative Women’s Journey.
With the transition back to American life this week, I take the time to learn and live the multitude of lessons life has thrown at me the last year around the world. I hold this year’s intention to appreciate, experience, and integrate life’s precious moments. The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali says, “All experience can either be for bondage or liberation.” May this summer solstice bring you the liberated living that you so deserve.
Why I Quit Shoulding On Myself… And You Can Too
I’m trying to stop using the word “should”. I really shouldn’t do anything. If I want to do something or I have to do something, I will. If I don’t want to or I don’t have to, I won’t.
I’ve had 2 realizations as of late, as my time in Jeju comes to an end, goodbyes abound, and many travel plans await. The first is that I should really take advantage of every minute of being in Jeju and the second is that I should let myself relax more and not feel so much obligation. The realization I have not had is how to balance those two. Being present, or being “in the moment” is always my goal, but, naturally, it’s difficult when there is so much to plan and prepare and I’m constantly thinking about one thing or another. I’m sure this sounds familiar to you, dear readers, as it’s something we all struggle with.
Case in point: I had decided about a month ago that I would stop studying Korean at the beginning of July because it takes up time I could be doing other things. Plus I don’t really need to learn any more Korean since I’m leaving. However, last week I was introducing an American friend to my Korean study friends to match-make a new language exchange, and we all had such a great time hanging out and studying together that I’ve decided to continue studying. It’s not that I feel I should, I’ve let that go. I just want to because I enjoy being around my friends and I enjoy speaking Korean. Once I let go of the notion that I “should” be studying, I no longer felt guilty making the decision one way or another.
The harder case: not feeling obligated by Korean yoga standards. Every time I think about going to a yoga class, I immediately think I “should” go. Not that I want to go or it would make me happy. The particular style of yoga that I practice here is centrally focused on back bending. I like back bending, but it puts a lot of stress on my shoulders and neck and I’m still healing those areas. The unique Korean cultural view says we should all be able to do the same things, which makes it difficult to say to a teacher, “I can’t”, and the language barrier makes that all the more difficult. Sometimes I leave the practice feeling refreshed and relaxed, and sometimes I leave feeling horrible, judgmental, and upset. But I just can’t let go of the notion that I “should” be going to classes because of the unique experience of these teachers in Jeju and the fact that I’d like to be doing yoga every day, especially now that I’m not teaching anymore. There is the fact that I’m headed into 7 months of introspection and yoga study, which might make me feel better about not practicing now. But this is all based around the notion of what I feel I should or should not be doing.
This is such a good example of one of the fundamental Buddhist concepts: suffering. Buddhists and Yogis believe that suffering is something we create in our minds. Suffering is not what happens to us but our reactions to it. The way another person treats me does not create suffering; how I feel about it and how I react is what makes me unhappy. My feelings and reactions exist because of all my past interactions and relationships. Suffering is not something that happens to us but it is a choice we (usually unconsciously) make. The first step to eliminating this suffering is simply being aware of what our mind is doing. So that’s where I am, seeing what’s happening and trying to accept that I’m making myself feel bad (without making myself feel worse by judging myself!) Acceptance. That will be my goal for the remainder of my Jeju life.
I’d love to give you a recap of events in the last 2 months, but I honestly can’t remember what I’ve been doing. Working a lot, teaching yoga, hiking oreums, drinking tea with friends, going to the beach. The biggie was the 2nd Women’s Yoga Retreat (click here for pictures) that I led a few weekends ago. We had 22 beautiful participants, and we all worked hard, endured the monsoon weather, and did a lot of yoga. And now I’m looking ahead, but still trying to stay in the moment, each moment.