Female Ejaculation – A Complete Guide to Splashy Fun

woman floating in a pool looking up

When I was 18, I experienced something I thought at the time was terrifyingly embarrassing. I was in the car with my boyfriend and decided we needed to find a secluded place to touch each other in the woods.

Having found the perfect spot, he pressed me into a tree, lifted my skirt and started fingering my cunt, something he did with diligent precision and expertise from his Maxim magazine reading. After a few minutes and a few big orgasms, we found that there was clear liquid running down my leg.

And, of course, we thought it was pee.

Our short-lived assumption, this is back before you Googled things in your car, was that I had sexual incontinence, meaning that sex made me pee. As this started happening more and more, we did a little research and found that what was coming out of my vagina when he touched me a certain way was NOT in fact urine, it was ejaculate. Female ejaculate.

Over the years, I got really good at ejaculating and even started finding partners who really, really liked female ejaculation. Some even fetishized it. I started watching “squirting” porn and would get very turned on seeing other women ejaculate as well.

And eventually, I became a Tantric practitioner who offers Yoni massage and helps women access this incredibly intimate, sensual and powerful place in themselves.

Read the full article at Beducated.

Yoni Massage 101

woman's back in tall grass field with arms up

Sssshhhh…

I want to share with you something very secret and very sacred. Something most people would never dream about which can totally change your life…

A yoni massage.

Yoni is the Sanskrit name for vagina, but it actually translates as temple or womb. Yoni is sacred and revered, unlike some of our common words for vagina, like pussy – which often is used derogatorily to mean weak. (Sidenote: I’m taking that word back.) Yoni is a symbol of the goddess as power, energy, life: the sacred feminine embodied.

Yoni

The term “yoni” does not only refer to women or bodies that have vaginas. All humans possess both masculine and feminine energies (also called yin and yang), so we can begin to understand our own yoni (sacred womb) as the deepest temple in our being, with the reverence that the Tantrics gave our human sex: fully divine.

For those assigned female or who have transitioned into assigned female sexual organs, the yoni refers directly to the vulva, vagina and cervix (as well as the rest of the reproductive system, but we’ll stick with the external parts for the sake of explaining yoni massage). Tantrics have long said that vaginas are to be revered, worshipped, adored and fully seen – and have created countless rituals and practices to do just that.

Cunts

Sadly, that is not often the way we experience our sex or how others view or treat our sex. Cunts have been given a pretty bad rep, and far too many people have experienced sexual repression, denial, coercion, manipulation, pressure, trauma, or violence. For many people, sexual interaction and expression aren’t times in which we feel revered and adored.

As an intimacy and relationship coach, it is my mission to change this pattern, one person at a time. My favorite way to spur this change is to spend time adoring, worshiping, and yes, massaging yonis.

What is a yoni massage, you ask? Think about a massage on any other part of your body: safe, loving touch and energetic opening to experience being in the body, relax, soothe, and deeply heal. A yoni massage is exactly that: safe, loving touch and energetic opening to reclaim embodiment, heal wounding and trauma, bring full acceptance, and open the flow of unconditional love throughout the body and into the yoni.

A Yoni Massage

A yoni massage is a chance for the yoni to be seen, petted, explored, mapped, desired, cared for and pleasured without any other sexual touch. No reciprocity. No expectation. Two or more hours just exploring the yoni and all of its unique, individual contours, hot buttons, sensitivities, and quite possibly traumas and stored emotions.

All yonis can benefit from this sacred and reverent touch, whether you’re attending the session with a specific need to heal, to orgasm, to be seen, or just to have space away from the rest of life. As a person with an active sex life, I still benefit from regular yoni massage to learn about myself, experience new sensations, and to commune with the divine. It helps me feel deeply seen and appreciated, safe, and held.

Every experience is unique. Every person’s intention is different. All bodies and experiences are welcome. All emotions, feelings and experiences are held with openness and acceptance. Instruction is slow, generous and soft. Requests are welcome. Boundaries are firmly communicated and respected. Consent and communication are explicit and professional. Hearts are opened. Bodies and psyches are healed. Wounds are seen and repaired. Experiences are confidential and continuously supported after the session. Questions are welcome!

For yonis who are healing from sexual violence or trauma, challenging relationships, a time of celibacy or a lack of physical touch, yoni massage can bring you back into connection with your physical body. It can invite you to engage with life in ways that might have felt inaccessible or closed off. It can heal a broken heart, or a series of them. It can awaken sensation you thought was dead, or just very dormant. It can reconnect you to YOU.

 

Curious to learn more right from your home? Check out the Yoni Massage 101 Course at Beducated! It’s a step-by-step program to learn how to give and receive a Yoni (Vulva) Massage. Suitable for singles and couples of all genders…and includes Yoni Self-Massage!

Here’s a few more online courses in Yoni practices…

Yoni Egg 101

Yoni Yoga

Taking My Pussy Back

pussy

Ever hear someone say “Stop being such a pussy,” or “What a little pussy”?

Likely you have and maybe it’s just one of those slang words that doesn’t bother you.

But if you wear a pussy every day, you might have started to become annoyed that one of the most power-wielding parts of your body is used to mean weak, shameful or unwanted.

So, I’m taking it back. I’m taking back my Pussy. And yours, too.

I was surprised to recently hear a person I really respect use the word pussy as a derogatory term. Instead of letting him get away with it, I reframed. Here’s a flavored-up rendition of the conversation:

Friend: “I’ve just been a real pussy lately. I need to get my shit together.”

Me: “So you’ve been incredibly powerful and sacred?”

Friend: “Oh, I see. Point taken.”

Me: “You can call yourself a pussy, if you really mean it. It’s quite a compliment.”

 

Words are incredibly powerful. They have the power to build us up or tear us down. Please, please don’t let others get away with tearing your pussy down. Call them out and take back our pussies.

Queer Tantra: A LGBT Approach to “Shiva Meets Shakti”

two men about to kiss

Polarity and sacred union are fundamental principles in Tantra. From the consciousness of oneness, or God, there comes the twoness, or duality. The two are lovingly named Shiva, the principle of pure consciousness and direction, and Shakti, the principle of energy, power and manifestation.

David Deida describes this duality as the banks of a river -“Shiva”, and the water flowing within -“Shakti”. The banks hold the flow, but the flow also carves the banks.

In spiritual sexuality and sexual Tantra, we reach unity when Shiva and Shakti become one, uniting through intentional practices, rituals and lovemaking. This takes our human consciousness from duality, how we normally experience reality as you and me, black and white, hot and cold, to nonduality, the consciousness of oneness.

I first learned all this six years ago in a Tantra fundamentals workshop taught to a group of heterosexual attendees by a couple of heterosexual instructors. As a bi-sexual woman, I got the message that I was included in the sexual practices of Tantra, when I was with men. Maybe I could give other women yoni massages or support female journeys and transformation, but I couldn’t possibly reach these ultimate levels when I fucked my girlfriend. Could I?

Read the whole article on Omooni.com.

Why I Quit Shoulding On Myself… And You Can Too

I’m trying to stop using the word “should”. I really shouldn’t do anything. If I want to do something or I have to do something, I will. If I don’t want to or I don’t have to, I won’t.

I’ve had 2 realizations as of late, as my time in Jeju comes to an end, goodbyes abound, and many travel plans await. The first is that I should really take advantage of every minute of being in Jeju and the second is that I should let myself relax more and not feel so much obligation. The realization I have not had is how to balance those two. Being present, or being “in the moment” is always my goal, but, naturally, it’s difficult when there is so much to plan and prepare and I’m constantly thinking about one thing or another. I’m sure this sounds familiar to you, dear readers, as it’s something we all struggle with.

Case in point: I had decided about a month ago that I would stop studying Korean at the beginning of July because it takes up time I could be doing other things. Plus I don’t really need to learn any more Korean since I’m leaving. However, last week I was introducing an American friend to my Korean study friends to match-make a new language exchange, and we all had such a great time hanging out and studying together that I’ve decided to continue studying. It’s not that I feel I should, I’ve let that go. I just want to because I enjoy being around my friends and I enjoy speaking Korean. Once I let go of the notion that I “should” be studying, I no longer felt guilty making the decision one way or another.

The harder case: not feeling obligated by Korean yoga standards. Every time I think about going to a yoga class, I immediately think I “should” go. Not that I want to go or it would make me happy. The particular style of yoga that I practice here is centrally focused on back bending. I like back bending, but it puts a lot of stress on my shoulders and neck and I’m still healing those areas. The unique Korean cultural view says we should all be able to do the same things, which makes it difficult to say to a teacher, “I can’t”, and the language barrier makes that all the more difficult. Sometimes I leave the practice feeling refreshed and relaxed, and sometimes I leave feeling horrible, judgmental, and upset. But I just can’t let go of the notion that I “should” be going to classes because of the unique experience of these teachers in Jeju and the fact that I’d like to be doing yoga every day, especially now that I’m not teaching anymore. There is the fact that I’m headed into 7 months of introspection and yoga study, which might make me feel better about not practicing now. But this is all based around the notion of what I feel I should or should not be doing.

This is such a good example of one of the fundamental Buddhist concepts: suffering. Buddhists and Yogis believe that suffering is something we create in our minds. Suffering is not what happens to us but our reactions to it. The way another person treats me does not create suffering; how I feel about it and how I react is what makes me unhappy. My feelings and reactions exist because of all my past interactions and relationships. Suffering is not something that happens to us but it is a choice we (usually unconsciously) make. The first step to eliminating this suffering is simply being aware of what our mind is doing. So that’s where I am, seeing what’s happening and trying to accept that I’m making myself feel bad (without making myself feel worse by judging myself!) Acceptance. That will be my goal for the remainder of my Jeju life.

I’d love to give you a recap of events in the last 2 months, but I honestly can’t remember what I’ve been doing. Working a lot, teaching yoga, hiking oreums, drinking tea with friends, going to the beach. The biggie was the 2nd Women’s Yoga Retreat (click here for pictures) that I led a few weekends ago. We had 22 beautiful participants, and we all worked hard, endured the monsoon weather, and did a lot of yoga. And now I’m looking ahead, but still trying to stay in the moment, each moment.