3 & 10-DAY HRIDAYA SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT

3 & 10-DAY HRIDAYA SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT
July 31-Aug 3 or July 31-Aug 10, 2020

Harstine Island, WA
Hosted by Hridaya NW

 REGISTER HERE

Shift your relationship to life by quieting your mind, rejuvenating your body and opening your heart. The Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat is a multi-day immersion in noble silence, allowing you to drop the everyday acts of doing and sink into just being.

In Hridaya Northwest’s Summer 2020 Silent Retreat, you have the option of attending for three days of silence or ten days. You’ll be held in a container of loving silence, guided teachings and practices to awaken the Spiritual Heart (Hridaya), daily meditation and meditative yoga, all designed to connect you through body, heart and mind to your deeper Self.

Is life calling you to slow down?

Are you moving too fast to actually experience your life?

Are you ready for deep transformation but something is holding you back (like not knowing how or being afraid of what will happen?)

Then you’re ready for a meditation retreat – a silent meditation retreat.

Ah! Silent? Like not talking? That’s scary. I can’t imagine being silent for any length of time. I can’t even sit still for a few minutes without finding a distraction.

Right – which is why you feel so wound up. It takes time to slow down and learn how to let go – of your past, of your worries, of what the future might look like if you don’t have it all figured out. Trust me, you’re not alone. You’re one of millions of people on Google searching how to let go of their worries and how to be more present and accepting.

A silent retreat is a kickstart to deep transformation, to slowing down and to learning how to enjoy every minute of life.

A silent retreat is for anyone who’s craving time to themselves, an inner transformation, and to experience what meditation can bring to their life. It sets you up for a disciplined personal practice and a road map to letting go.

UPCOMING COURSES:
3 & 10-DAY HRIDAYA SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT
July 31-Aug 3 or July 31-Aug 10, 2020
Harstine Island, WA
Hosted by Hridaya NW

 

WHAT’S A SILENT RETREAT LIKE?
The Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat is structured to give you guidance every step of the way. Participants practice noble silence throughout the entire retreat, from our opening circle to our closing circle. Retreat leaders will speak during sessions to offer teachings and guidance in the practices but will also be in silence outside of the sessions. You are encouraged to ask written questions about your experience, the teachings or anything you need during our retreat. You’ll always be able to contact a retreat leader for support.

We begin our morning practice at 7am and end the day around 9pm. Fear not! Our meditation sessions start out shorter and build up during the weekend. There is a 3-hour break after lunch for you to explore nearby trails, journal, take a nap or rest. Three nourishing, vegetarian meals are offered daily by a local chef using seasonal, local produce which helps you have the best retreat possible, not only in your mind and heart but also in your belly. Vegan and gluten free options are available as well.

Every day we practice hatha yoga – a gentle but deep meditative physical yoga practice in the style of Hridaya, the Yoga of the Spiritual Heart. Movements and poses are accessible for all bodies and give you even more tools to bring more awareness into your daily life through the body. Hridaya Yoga is distinct from other practices as it engages not only the physical body but the whole being. Postures and practices are performed with a focus on both the physical body and inner experience, turning physical practice into blissful meditation. If flow or vinyasa is your thing, there is also space every day to do your own practice.

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT IN A SILENT RETREAT?
Every silent meditation retreat is different – even if you attend the exact same retreat multiple times. The most important attitude to have in a silent retreat is to let go of expectations. A spirit of openness to what unfolds is essential to welcoming a retreat experience.

Grace, Dianna and Britt, your Washington-based retreat leaders, have over a decade of experience leading people through their personal transformation of yoga, meditation and silent retreats. We start with the basics of meditation and concentration techniques and build your understanding and experience throughout the retreat. Practices are accessible for beginning meditators and experienced meditators alike. You’ll learn how to listen to deeper parts of yourself – like that voice that’s been trying to be heard for years – through yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, daily life contemplation, spiritual curiosity, compassion and intentional integration.

You’ll leave with a renewed strength and momentum to develop a daily practice which keeps you more calm, centered and present than you’ve been before.

Our meditation retreat atmosphere is a safe space for you to try out different meditation and concentration practices which invite a holistic experience of yourself and discover how you want to bring these practices into your life. There’s no expectation that you do anything perfectly or that you can even sit still! We practice together by increasing the length of our meditations day by day and building up our stamina in the practice. Your humanness is welcome – exactly as you are.

You’ll have the space to share your retreat experience on the last day and we highly encourage everyone to witness others’ process and share your experience. This is sometimes the most profound session of the whole retreat after being in silence with fellow seekers.

THREE OR TEN DAYS?
Yes! You are welcome to register for either the three-day retreat or the ten-day retreat.

Everyone will arrive the afternoon or early evening of July 29 and we’ll begin with a group orientation that evening. Our silence begins at 7am on August 1st and we’ll all practice the next three days together. For those participating in the three-day retreat, silence will end in the afternoon on August 3rd and we’ll connect and share our experiences. Then you’ll head home while the remaining participants continue our silence until August 10th.

Not sure how long you want to stay? Please contact us to chat about your desires and availability. While it may bring up some fear, most people are able to dive into a ten-day retreat with no meditation or yoga experience. We’d love for you to join the whole ten days if you have the space in your life. And if not, three days is great!

WHAT DO WE DO IN A MEDITATION RETREAT?
Hridaya Silent Retreats are created to intimately experience what meditation is and to feel the inner transformation it can bring. During our meditation retreat, we offer practices centered on the Spiritual Heart – another name for the essence of our being. Practices come from a variety of traditions, including esoteric Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism, Tantra, Taoism and Yoga. All religious backgrounds, faiths and lifestyles are welcome in the Spiritual Heart! The atmosphere is one of love and strong spiritual support.

No previous meditation or yoga experience is necessary as this silent retreat is designed for beginner and advanced meditators alike.

Using techniques from these vast, mystical traditions and Hridaya Yoga, we’ll learn how to create the best conditions for meditation including cultivating awareness, mental concentration, meditation techniques based on opening to the Spiritual Heart and how to apply these techniques in daily life. The last day will include practical and concrete integration practices like how to create a home practice and maintain an open heart in the challenging moments of life.

WHERE IS THE SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT?
We are blessed to be hosted by SerpentSong Retreat Center on Harstine Island in Washington state, on the beautiful Hood Canal. The center features a beautiful and newly built yoga hall, hiking trails and a short walk to the beach. SerpentSong is also a family home and feels warm, inviting, connecting and, well, homey! There is also a permaculture garden where much of our food is grown. SerpentSong has been tended by Xanna and Kim since 2016 and is a center for deep personal transformation and spiritual growth. You’ll drop into a quiet space of unwinding and feel the desire to slow down, breathe more deeply and step into silence. Our home in the woods is surrounded by natural beauty, walking trails, wild deer, and the beauty of the Pacific Northwest.

Accommodation options include private rooms or shared rooms. You are welcome to choose the room that best suits you, depending on availability. We imagine our private rooms will be reserved quickly! There are stairs in the home, so please tell us if you need an accessible room and we’ll do our best to accommodate. Much of our sleeping arrangements are either camping (bring your own gear) or shared indoor spaces. Please contact us with questions about accommodations or accessibility.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE SILENT?
Silence starts with not talking…but it’s so much more.

We start with the intention to not talk or communicate once we set our container and begin the retreat. You are welcome to write notes to retreat leaders when you have questions or need assistance. Otherwise, we ask there to be no communication between guests, including not looking at other people’s faces, not making eye contact and not touching others. This may seem strict, but it opens the gateway to really focus internally, the whole point of a silent retreat. Once you get into the rhythm, you’ll be grateful for the space away from pleasing people or worrying about how they’ll react to you.

We ask all guests to maintain this noble silence throughout the retreat, which includes: no books, no electronics, no music, no phones or devices or other distractions. Again, this might feel extreme. The point is to not let yourself go to any distraction from what you’re really experiencing in the present moment. If taking a few days away from social media scares you, then you’re very ready for this journey.

We do encourage journaling to assist in the processing of your experience.

If you’ve never experienced the intimacy of silence – especially in today’s fast-paced, notification pinging, constant news driven, social media addicted, instant gratification world – you’ll never forget the spaciousness it brings. You’ll leave with more inner and outer love, tools to calm and center yourself, an understanding of what it means to let go, practices for deeper connection with other people, and the ability to be more present, conscious and to let go.

We hope you’ll join us for this special weekend dedicated to YOU.

WHAT HAVE PEOPLE EXPERIENCED IN SILENT RETREATS?
We’ll let our guests tell you in their own words what they’ve experienced in a silent meditation retreat.

“This was truly one of the most memorable weekends. It left me feeling awake and focused. I am inspired to now have an unplugged time every day.” – Mona, South Korea

“Grace creates an accessible, welcoming and safe environment that is both heart-warming and inspiring. Her energy and passion for what she does is infectious, so much so that a room full of strangers at the beginning of a weekend can feel like family by the end. You will be energized, challenged, comforted and much, much more. I cannot recommend this retreat enough.” – Ben, South Korea

“This retreat has helped me reframe my expectations of myself and my expectations of others. I have been very judgmental of myself and I feel I have learned to let some of that go.” – Matt, Whidbey Island

“After this retreat, I am committed to fear less, love more and to refresh my daily practice.” – Terri, Whidbey Island

“I really benefitted from the meditation times that extended a little every day. I’ve been trying meditation on my own and using phone apps, but I’ve never tried more than 10-20 minutes. It showed me I can find a gap in the my thoughts without frustration and I can train my puppy mind. I also feel more connected to what love actually is after this retreat and how to focus on giving love in my life. I know now that if I give love from a selfless, compassionate place, I will also receive love.” – Tracie, Whidbey Island

“During this retreat, I realized how distracted I am by my phone and laptop. I have loved being away from both and plan to have a few times daily when I look at them instead of just responding to every notification and sound.” – Jodi, Whidbey Island

“This retreat helped me to reframe how I live every day! I’ve been wanting to return to the heart, but I’ve lost my way with the big changes and challenges of 2017. I want my heart to lead instead of the reactivity I have indulged in. The practices we did this weekend help me to connect the spiritual and physical and I’m inspired to keep practicing being in the Spiritual Heart.” Chrysalis, Whidbey Island

“This weekend I really got the idea of responding instead of reacting to stress. I’m excited to apply the principles we’ve been using during meditation to my everyday life.” – Janet, Whidbey Island

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
WHAT HAVE PEOPLE EXPERIENCED IN SILENT RETREATS?
We’ll let our guests tell you in their own words what they’ve experienced in a silent meditation retreat.

“This was truly one of the most memorable weekends. It left me feeling awake and focused. I am inspired to now have an unplugged time every day.”

Mona, South Korea
“Grace creates an accessible, welcoming and safe environment that is both heart-warming and inspiring. Her energy and passion for what she does is infectious, so much so that a room full of strangers at the beginning of a weekend can feel like family by the end. You will be energized, challenged, comforted and much, much more. I cannot recommend this retreat enough.”

Ben, South Korea
“This retreat has helped me reframe my expectations of myself and my expectations of others. I have been very judgmental of myself and I feel I have learned to let some of that go.”

Matt, Whidbey Island
“After this retreat, I am committed to fear less, love more and to refresh my daily practice.”

Terri, Whidbey Island
“I really benefitted from the meditation times that extended a little every day. I’ve been trying meditation on my own and using phone apps, but I’ve never tried more than 10-20 minutes. It showed me I can find a gap in the my thoughts without frustration and I can train my puppy mind. I also feel more connected to what love actually is after this retreat and how to focus on giving love in my life. I know now that if I give love from a selfless, compassionate place, I will also receive love.”

Tracie, Whidbey Island
“During this retreat, I realized how distracted I am by my phone and laptop. I have loved being away from both and plan to have a few times daily when I look at them instead of just responding to every notification and sound.”

Jodi, Whidbey Island
“This retreat helped me to reframe how I live every day! I’ve been wanting to return to the heart, but I’ve lost my way with the big changes and challenges of 2017. I want my heart to lead instead of the reactivity I have indulged in. The practices we did this weekend help me to connect the spiritual and physical and I’m inspired to keep practicing being in the Spiritual Heart.”

Chrysalis, Whidbey Island
“This weekend I really got the idea of responding instead of reacting to stress. I’m excited to apply the principles we’ve been using during meditation to my everyday life.”

Janet, Whidbey Island
READY TO KNOW MORE OR REGISTER?
If you have more questions, please contact us and ask! We’re happy to chat about your upcoming retreat experience and how you can feel the most comfortable and confident walking into a silent meditation retreat. It’s totally normal to be nervous, fearful or confused about a silent retreat and we’re happy to answer your questions and put your mind at ease.

Need financial assistance or a partial scholarship? Please contact us to talk about options.

REGISTRATION

Room 3 Day EB 3 Day Reg 10 Day EB 10 Day Reg
Single Room/Private bath $575 $625 $1,125 $1,225
Single Room/Semi-private bath $525 $575 $1,075 $1,175
Double Room/Shared bath $475 $525 $1,025 $1,125
Shared Room/Shared bath $450 $500 $975 $1,075
Camping $425 $475 $925 $1,025
3 DAY RETREAT
Early Registration – Until June 1

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10 DAY RETREAT
Early Registration – Until June 1

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CANCELLATION POLICY
Registration fees include a partially refundable administration fee of $300 for the 3-Day Retreat and $400 for the 10-Day Retreat.

Retreat fees will be refunded less the admin fee as follows:

Cancellations 30+ days prior to retreat – $200 of admin fee refunded
Cancellations 15-29 days prior to retreat – $100 of admin fee refunded
Cancellations less than 2 weeks prior to retreat – admin fee is non-refundable
Please contact us if you have any questions. We do our best to be flexible and want to honor individual needs.

YOUR HOSTS
Grace Bryant has been a whole life educator for the past 13 years, integrating drama, music, movement, meditation and yoga, mindful living, creative play, teamwork, conscious collaboration and leadership. Her Yogic path began in 2005 when her sister dragged her to a Yoga class in Federal Way. She fell in love with savasana and came back just for relaxation.

In 2007, she was inspired to start teaching informally and since then has studied and taught in 6 countries and devoted her entire life to the journey of awakening. Grace recently completed the Hridaya Teacher Training in Mexico and is beyond grateful to have received the teachings of Advaita Tantra and the Spiritual Heart. She believes these teachings can transform the consciousness of anyone who practices them sincerely.

Grace’s favorite classes are those which deepen our consciousness and also incorporate how to live with more awareness, trust and compassion. She leads classes, discussion groups, workshops, women’s groups, and retreats in the Pacific Northwest and abroad with a focus on bringing a Yogic approach into every area of life. Through Yoga, she has found a deep sense of peace and trust, and hopes to share this in her teachings. More information can be found at her website, www.bewholebehappy.com.

Dianna Heston has been known to wander about the world, yet calls Portland, Oregon her home. At the age of 50, with her children grown and on their own and acknowledging her corporate career was not fulfilling, she took off to explore the world and, more importantly, herself. She was lucky enough to be able to travel internationally and do nothing but focus her attention on Yoga, meditation, and Eastern philosophies. Her travels took her to Greece, India, Nepal, Mexico and Thailand, where she spent several months in each location studying with some incredible teachers. This was a transforming time in her life.

Dianna’s passion for yoga has primarily been inspired by the ways in which Yoga supports the process of empowering individuals to progress toward improved health and well-being. Her personal practice and teaching utilizes restorative and therapeutic yoga as the cornerstone for a well-rounded healing process. Dianna has both witnessed and personally experienced how emotional and physical well-being are attainable by employing relaxation, meditation and mindfulness, physical asana, and breathwork. Being able to share the ancient wisdom of the Yogi’s for health and healing causes her heart to burst with Love!

Dianna completed her certifications for Yoga Teacher Training in 2012, and for Therapeutic Yoga in 2014. Both at Agama Yoga in Thailand. She continues her studies in Hridaya Meditation, Mindfulness, and other disciplines.

Brittany Servent is known for her authentic, non-judgmental teaching style and heart-centered philosophy. As a certified Hridaya Yoga instructor she is continuously seeking out philosophical education from various spiritual disciplines.

Britt weaves thought-provoking meditations throughout her classes, applying ancient wisdom to our contemporary western world in a useful and playful way. She encourages growth of the physical and spiritual self, citing the interconnectedness to each other, to the world and to the universe at large. She brings her own introspection and contemplation to the mat and holds whatever may unfold to her with a sense of gratitude. This is the same attitude she lives by in daily life as well. Her favorite saying is “Life is a conundrum of esoterica.” And so it is. Yet here we are navigating our life puzzles like there was something to accomplish…

TENTATIVE SCHEDULE (SUBJECT TO CHANGE)
7:00 Morning Session
9:00 Breakfast
10:30 Mid-Morning Session
1:00 Lunch
1:30 Afternoon Break
3:30 Afternoon session
6:15 Dinner
7:15 Evening Practice
9:00 Break for evening

Both retreats will finish around 2pm on the final day. We ask everyone to arrive the evening before our silence begins, as we will have a group orientation the evening of July 31st.

*Lectures include: The self-inquiry method, What is the Spiritual Heart, Self-awareness, Witness Consciousness, Compassion, The True Nature of Love, Living with an Open Heart, Integration of Daily Life into Spirituality and techniques for yoga, meditation, pranayama and awareness.

Awakening to the Spiritual Heart: A One-Day Silent Retreat

woman sitting in tall grass arms up with a hat in her hand

Ready for a silent retreat but just not sure how to start?

Just for you, take a nibble of silence with the One-Day Silent Retreat.

When was the last time you spent a full day dedicated to being quiet, present and opening the heart?

Join this one-day Silent Retreat and give yourself a unique and profound opportunity to quiet the mind, rejuvenate the body and open the heart.

Come learn and practice silent meditation on the heart, calm and interiorized Tantric hatha yoga and techniques for daily life awareness which can lead to more moments of stillness, surrender, and joy in everyday life. This is the path of the Spiritual Heart.

We will explore The Spiritual Heart and it’s physical, emotional and spiritual implications, which can eventually lead us into the essence of our Being, our True Self. By cultivating an opening to this depth of our very Self and learning how to settle ourselves in this powerful center, we can drastically change our relationship to ourselves and to the world, giving us more space to be present, rooted, trusting and connected.

Using techniques from various esoteric tradition, we′ll learn how to create the best conditions for a life of presence, including cultivating awareness, mental concentration, opening the Heart and applying these techniques in daily life. The Tantric Yoga practice engages not only the physical body, but the entire being. Postures and breathing practices are performed with awareness, turning physical practice into blissful meditation.

No previous meditation or yoga experience is necessary as this retreat is designed for beginner and advanced meditators alike. All bodies and abilities are welcome. The day’s atmosphere will be one of love and spiritual growth.

Come for a day of silence and take peek into the deeper dimension of your being. If you’ve yet to experience the intimacy of silence, you will never forget the gateway it can be to Love, presence and surrender.

Snacks and tea provided. Please bring your own lunch.

VALUE
Pre-register $55
At the door $60
Scholarships and assistantships available. Please ask.

Registration Here

The Joy and Freedom of 59 Days of Silence

silent retreat

For all those on the Path of Awakening, may we all be inspired to surrender.

These days when we think of Tantra, we think of experimenting with sound, movement and sex, but the path of Tantra as it was created about 1500-1000 years ago was a dedicated path of spirituality that permeated every aspect of being. Initiates would undertake intensely disciplined practices to go beyond the limited perceptions of the mind, and often took months or years as a renunciate, away from their homes and families, away from anyone they knew and essentially, away from themselves.

Taking away sensorial input and committing to a practice of mauna, noble silence, has been a practice in every mystical awakening tradition since documented human history. It may seem extreme now, but it was common for rites of passage and initiations into different phases of life, especially for those who were healers, shamans and people with a longing for God–for the Divine spark manifest in our very being.

When I decided to apply for the 49-Day Silent Retreat at Hridaya, I didn’t think of any of those things. I just felt a longing in my heart for solitude and said yes. They said yes, too. And then I got very scared. What had I done? Would I really spend 40 days all alone in a room? Would I go crazy and lose my mind? (two very different things, come to find out) I’m quite used to living around the world and being on my own, but this was going to be a whole new level of “on my own.”

Sahajananda, my teacher and the founder of Hridaya Yoga, created the 49-Day Silent Retreat to support those with a longing to go deep. Many who live at the school have attended and come out the other side changed, in various ways. We all face our own challenges, breakthroughs and moments of transcending. The layout is this: 10 days at a group silent retreat with the school (50-100 people together) and then 40 days in solitude at a hotel an hour away from the school. One person on the retreat is dedicated to service, cooking us sattvic vegan meals twice a day and handling our needs, should they arise. In all that time, we practice noble silence which means no talking, making sound or looking at one another, a pivotal part of the practice of mauna. After this period of 49 days, there is an additional seven-day retreat which the school allows participants to join. We had 3 days of transition before the 7 days, making a grand total of 59 days in silence.

I won’t be able to share all of the experiences, thresholds and moments of surrender I experienced in this period, or in the weeks since, and that isn’t my intention. My intention going into the retreat was to surrender, surrender, surrender; to give up control and give up “me” at every turn. So, I’ll focus on these experiences, their arising and the residual space they’ve left, which is simply Love. I will not spend time defining the concepts. If they interest you, look into the Hridaya teachings which, in my opinion, capture the essence of the spiritual path of nonduality with clarity and Heart.

This article will be raw, vulnerable and imperfect. I invite you to read with the heart, rather than the mind, and to take in the essence, not necessarily the words. May whatever you take from this writing inspire your mind to quiet, your heart to open, and your faith in the path, to rise.

 

The Present Moment

I’ve been on the spiritual path for a while, long enough to understand that it takes a lot of time to ripen in the vision, and the deconditioning and persevering faith it takes to break free from the collective paradigm I find myself in. I’ve spent periods of three to four months at a time in spiritual schools, and experienced that the longer the time, the deeper the dive. But I’ve still always lived in “time,” meaning the construct of days, hours and minutes. I’ve been tied to the clock since I can remember, and have lived, as most of us, fragmented between doing this and doing that.

From the first day of the retreat, I decided to let go of time completely. Let go of what day it was, what time it was, how long I’d been practicing or sleeping or doing anything. I found it easier intended than done. There was a struggle for the first week or two in solitude as my mind desperately wanted to compare how much I had meditated or practiced today versus yesterday, and especially how much time until the meal was served (we received one meal at 11:30am and one at 6pm). In the 10-day retreat, I never looked at the clock except to be at school at a certain time for sessions. Once in solitude, I didn’t set my morning alarm, didn’t time my practices and in fact, turned the clock around so I wouldn’t see the time unless I intentionally picked it up and looked. There were a few times I was struggling with practicing more or taking a break, so I was glad I did have the clock to relieve me of the feeling of anticipation. As with the deconditioning process of most things, there were a lot of patterns and tendencies to break through. For me, being able to say, “I meditated for this long” has always been a way that I value myself. My mind just loves comparison, especially comparing with myself. So, this was something to drop again and again whenever it came up.

Eventually there came a moment, maybe two weeks into the five-and-half weeks of solitude, when the idea of practicing and not practicing ceased. Where there was no separation between being on my mat or eating a meal or taking a walk on the beach. Eating a banana mid-morning became simply a continuation of awareness; eyes open or closed, walking or sitting, lying or stretching, it all became simply Being instead of doing. My teacher advised us before the retreat, “Let go of whatever you do and simply Be in joy.” So, I did. No time. No comparison. No right or wrong.

This isn’t to say there weren’t thoughts about those habitual tendencies of the mind. Thoughts were there, but at a certain point, they didn’t register as “my” thoughts or anything worth taking notice of. They just arose and fell into the background of consciousness. After a while, that background became my only identification. Instead of identifying with the waves, I sank into the ocean of the present moment.

 

Sleeping and Waking

I decided to experiment with sleep, a practice recommended in the Yoga and Tantra traditions. During 10-day silent retreats, I typically start lucid dreaming, not sleeping much, and remaining conscious most of the night. This time, when we went into solitude, I started an experiment where I slept most of the night lying on my back with a glass of water on my chest to keep me conscious, even when I eventually fell into the state of sleep. Within a few days, I hardly lost consciousness in the night at all, but rested deeply and maintained consciousness throughout the night.

I also found what I like to call “the sweet spot” between waking and sleeping, a deeply restful state with the eyes open or closed with a fully present consciousness and completely relaxed body and mind. I discovered this during lying down meditations, which I began practicing during solitude to relieve myself of chronic neck and shoulder pain. Soon I discovered that it put me in this sweet spot where I could stay for hours or longer.

When I discovered that this deep place could continue through the day and night, I started perceiving that time just continued to be the present moment with no interruptions except the wandering attention of the mind. And eventually that dropped away and was not a distraction.

 

Impermanence & Spontaneity

Another effect of the continuous present moment awareness was the feeling of prolonged spontaneity. I found myself surprised by what I chose to do in the moment, be it going for a walk, sitting in meditation, lighting incense, taking a nap, etc. I stopped planning anything, and more noticeably I stopped trying to be efficient. When I took my first Hridaya meditation retreat, this was a concept I deeply resonated with: letting go of the efficiency mind that tries to be one step ahead of the moment. This future-jumping mind gets in the way of the present moment being perfect, surprising and magical as it unfolds; it judges right and wrong based on what it thinks will be best before it actually happens. This was the existing programming of my mind.

This present moment perception led to an understanding of impermanence, a central tenet of Buddhist wisdom. The only thing permanent is existence-consciousness itself, not any thought, emotion, energy or material creation. These come and go, if we let them, and dissolve back into the Pure consciousness. As I watched every one of these rise and fall, rise and fall, I started to see the deep Truth in this teaching: that all things are impermanent. ALL things. This understanding led to the ability to surrender more and more.

I found myself letting every day, every meditation and yoga practice be different. Instead of grasping at how they should be or if they went deep or what I was experiencing, I just let them be exactly as they unfolded. And in that unfolding was the most beautiful state of Joy. The Joy of Being in the moment. I know this sounds like every clichéd spiritual teaching. I can hear that. And yet, it’s exactly what I felt and still feel.

The only intention I carried into my days was to create the best conditions in each moment. That meant following the needs of my body, like eating less and less as my metabolism slowed way down, and moving less and less as my heart rate slowed way down. Or even going for a run on the beach if there was a big upsurge of energy–if something felt different, I went with that exactly as it was. It may not seem like rocket science, but for me this letting go of all expectations whenever I noticed them come up led to a huge shift in how my days played out. And continuing to be in the present moment now that I’m teaching and writing again brings this Joy more and more into whatever I’m doing in the world.

 

Challenges

There were hard moments and hours. For me, three demons especially plagued my thoughts, and it wasn’t until I could automatically send compassion to the thoughts and people they were about, that they began to dissolve.

The first was about my intimate relationships and letting go of expectations around what things would look like when I came out. There was a solid week where this came to my mind every day. Sometimes I ignored it and let it float by, which it always eventually did. And sometimes I looked at it, examined what was sticky, what stories it triggered for me and why it kept coming back again and again. I began to uncover that some thoughts simply are triggered by imagination or memory of other thoughts. They come up and overlap until the mind/ego grabs on and starts to weave a story. And some thoughts just come up because we’ve deemed them important and have programmed our mind to go to them again and again. This is a thought pattern, I realized, that I had deemed important, as meaning something about “me.” And that’s the level where I had to let it go. Nothing that happens in my relationships means anything about who I am or who my partners are.

About this, a passage from my journal: “During a series of external events last night, I watched the monkey mind. It really does attach to the next thing that comes up bigger than what it’s currently attached to. One thing seemed so big and all encompassing for the mind, then the next totally superseded it, then the next. The one before disappeared (for a while) because the mind just dramatizes and tries to get something wedged in the hamster wheel to play over and over again. When the energies of the Heart are more aroused than the mind, it all dissolves again right after it comes up. There are many thoughts still, but they just don’t matter so much anymore. They just come and go like trains passing by, but the awareness of the whole station is greater.”

As a reflection, having been home a few weeks now, I’m so grateful to have spent time looking at the sticky points. Of course, the expectations that were secretly hiding away about what my intimate relationships would look like three months later, do not live up to their stories. And external life has shifted. In a way, I tested myself to see what would happen if such and such a story came to be. I prepared myself for the things that have actually happened and for possible situations in the future. It feels like my heart has expanded to take in every possible outcome, instead of weaving through what makes me comfortable and avoiding the discomfort. And, of course, it’s impossible to avoid discomfort when relating with other people.

The second demon was a life situation in which I felt I had failed just days before I left for the retreat. This thought came up again and again and again, day after day after day. At first, I spent a lot of mental energy justifying my actions, saying to myself “it’s okay that I did that,” and creating a whole story about why it was okay. So basically, I was in big, fat resistance to what was, and the story I created about it. When this thought pattern would begin to arise, it pulled all of my attention and I couldn’t focus on anything else for minutes or longer. And then one morning I was journaling and realized that this was what was meant by a demon. I remembered the story of the Buddha facing his last demon in his final meditation under the Bodhgaya tree and sending unending love and compassion until it dissolved. So I tried this, and . . . it worked. It worked like a magic wand. When I opened my heart instead of closing it off and being in resistance, my pain and reaction dissolved, my hurt dissolved, my identity around the story dissolved. I sent compassion to the people affected in the situation and I sent compassion to myself. And within 48 hours, it was completely gone and never disturbed my thoughts again.

This became my routine when anything triggered hurt, pain or identity gripping: open the heart, breathe into the heart and send Love to anyone affected by this thought. I can tell you after experimenting with this for about seven weeks: it works. And it is incredibly purifying to the mind. Instead of creating more and more thoughts, it leaves the mind quiet, calm and still; capable of perceiving the True nature, the background of stillness, instead of being obsessed by thoughts.

My third demon was food. It usually happens that what normally challenges you in everyday life comes up in retreat. Having struggled with lifelong mental and physical challenges around food, I knew this was going to come up, and it really did. On the very first day of my 59 days, I got quite sick, and after purging my body of any food in my system, I didn’t eat a meal for the next 48 hours. Fasting is not a regular practice for me, as it usually stirs up my control issues around food and I’ve found it healthier the last few years to just eat whatever I want and create a relationship of freedom with food. But this period of necessary fasting – for my body, not my mind–felt physically very purifying, and left me quite available to the lightness of the body that was to come. And it triggered a whole slew of patterns about being happy that I wasn’t eating. For years, maybe decades, I used food to feel in control, especially the decision to not eat. Sometimes that would turn into binging, too. In this extended period of silence, I watched all of this come up – every single day. And every day I did my best to return to the Heart, return to the freedom of Pure Being, while witnessing the patterns that have kept me locked in control around food for 20+ years. I made some deep discoveries that unlocked those patterns and eventually realized this: I Am Free. Totally free to choose my relationship with anything in the outside world.

Three weeks out of retreat, I can now say that this is a lasting change. So much of my energy has been released by not constantly worrying about what/how/why I’m eating, and just listening to what my body really wants. The mind doesn’t need to be involved in these decisions at all. What joy.

 

Surrender

At the beginning of our journey, Sahajananda said, “The spiritual journey is about going into uncharted territories. It’s about giving up the limitations of control. It requires a constant reconnection to the unknown.” This quote stayed with me and carried me through many scary moments of surrender. At first that surrender was active, with the intention that I, Grace, am giving up something, like a pattern or habit, a piece of identity or a story of reacting to external situations.

Then one afternoon when conditions seemed the worst to sit and meditate, a fit of laughter seized me, and the surrender became beyond me. I’ve heard many spiritual teachers talk about the Divine Mercy bringing surrender, and this was the experience I began to have more and more. Instead of “me” letting go of “something,” I started letting go of me. I stopped believing I was a separate thing or that there was anything separate from me. I began experiencing the world as One.

This perception carried through to more and more moments of my day and led to deeper experiences of surrender. As the control mechanisms of my mind tried to take over, I chose to surrender and go deeper into the unknown. I opened to those moments of feeling beyond a “me;” I let surrender win over fear. And the joy just kept opening and opening to unlimited depths.

One passage from my journal around day 40 said, “Carefree, light, childlike, joyful, spontaneous, gleeful, sweet and tender. No pushing into surrender, just letting go.”

 

Freedom

Sahajananda often talks about a sense of transparency and availability to the Divine Flow. Around the third week in solitude, I started understanding what this meant. With no one recognizing me, seeing me, talking to me, I started to feel like a ghost. Being in a constant state of meditation, I felt I was becoming more and more transparent, full of more light and less material. I watched my body processes slow to nothing, including my digestion and my blood pressure. No mirrors, no being seen. It was the most incredible phenomenon to become as light as light and to feel like I was floating in the air.

This had a massive effect on my consciousness in that I felt less separate and more unified with everything around me; that my Being was one and the same as all things, or that perhaps there are no individual beings, just one Being of which I am a part. From my journal: “Noticing that not looking in the mirror this long creates a bit of a separation from the body – Who Am I becomes a more real question…Who is it that’s looking through my eyes? Who hears with my ears?”

After a few weeks of intense investigation of the mind, I stumbled into this state of transparency and began to see the mind as transparent. Near the middle of the retreat I wrote, “There is an unbelievable vastness of the mind – how inconceivably infinite the power of perception is. Today I felt like I was melting the mental separateness I usually experience into union.” Along with this, internal and external stopped feeling differentiated, and from this came a feeling of freedom: first in small drips and eventually in waterfalls. The feeling of Joy – a permanent joy, not the fleeting happiness experienced from external circumstances being how I want them to be – was the new state of Pure Being. And the vastness into which I was melting felt simply free. As Sahajananda says, “There is such a freedom in solitude.” Yes, I found that freedom. And now I get to play in it while doing my daily activities, making phone calls, driving and playing in life.

The day we broke silence was incredible. Tears poured from seemingly nowhere for hours. The idea of talking or looking or being on my device was so far from any desire I had. In fact, I noticed a few days after the retreat ended that I was in a desire-less state. There was nothing I wanted except to keep diving into the ocean of the Heart, the ocean of God. As I move back into my work of personal coaching, Spiritual teaching and leading silent retreats, my only desire is to offer these teachings to others so that they may feel this peace of Pure Being and Joy of the Heart in their lives. So that we may all choose to surrender our identities and live in the Bliss of Compassion that comes from the transparent expression of the Heart.

In the last three weeks, the overall sensation of integration I’ve felt is one of stability. No longer does my spiritual path feel like achieving states of consciousness. Instead, it feels like a sweet naturalness and awareness that extends and expands. I notice when the triggers of my patterns come up, and instead of reacting to them like I have in the past, there is a tender compassion for my own stories. I can see how attaching to my identities and unconscious patterns in the past has caused so much suffering, and choose to forgive myself and others when I see these memories. I notice the wandering attention of my mind with laughter, not seriousness, and let my awareness return to the gravity of the Heart. And at the bottom of all this is Love. Just Love.

NEW YEARS SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT

woman sitting on beach at sunset

New Year’s Eve is a truly special moment with the opportunity to heighten our awareness and create strong energetic openings, paradigm shifts and deep-rooted intentions. When we take the time to listen deeply and quietly, we open ourselves to profound meditative insights and a chance to positively influence the consciousness of the world.

Join us for this special New Year’s weekend and give yourself a unique and profound opportunity to quiet the mind, rejuvenate the body and open the heart. The Hridaya Silent Meditation & Yoga Retreat will be four days and three nights spent in noble silence, allowing time to drop the everyday acts of doing and sink into just being, with a deep opportunity to experience meditative insights for 2018.

The word hridaya is a composite of the Sanskrit words hrid and ayam, meaning heart center.

With daily silent meditation, rejuvenating and relaxing hatha yoga, and daily life awareness practices, this weekend presents a path for the revelation of the Self and teaches how to live a life of stillness, surrender, and joy. This is the path of the Spiritual Heart.

The Spiritual Heart can be described in three parts: 1) A specific location in the chest; 2) An organ of knowledge through which we can live a more full and open-hearted life; 3) The essence of our being, our True Self. By focusing on the Spiritual Heart and learning how to settle ourselves in this powerful center, we can drastically change our relationship to ourselves and to the world, giving us more space to be present, rooted, trusting and connected.

Hridaya Silent Retreats are created to intimately understand what meditation is and to feel the amazing inner transformation that it brings. During the retreat, we address broad aspects of the Spiritual Heart, from a variety of traditions, including esoteric Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism, Taoism and Yoga. All religious backgrounds and faiths are very welcome in the Spiritual Heart! The atmosphere will be one of love and strong spiritual support. No previous meditation or yoga experience is necessary as this retreat is designed for beginner and advanced meditators alike.

Using techniques from these vast, mystical traditions and Hridaya Yoga, we¢ll learn how to create the best conditions for meditation including cultivating awareness, mental concentration, meditation techniques based on opening to the Spiritual Heart and how to apply these techniques in daily life. The last day will include practical and concrete integration practices like how to create a home practice and maintain an open heart off the mat. Hridaya Yoga is distinct from other practices as it engages not only the physical body but the entire being. Asanas are performed with awareness, turning physical practice into blissful meditation.

Come for a long weekend, welcoming 2018 with new awareness and connection with your true self.

This retreat is in nature at the beautiful Yoga Lodge at Whidbey. Enjoy walks in the stillness of nature on Whidbey Island which perfectly facilitates the silence cultivated inside. We ask all guests to maintain this silence throughout the retreat, including no electronics, music, phones or other distractions. If you’ve never experienced this intimacy of silence, you will never forget what a gateway it can provide to cultivating more inward and outward love, presence and surrender. We hope you’ll join us for this special weekend dedicated to Hridaya, the Spiritual Heart.

Soma Meets Silence 4 day Silent Retreat in the Beautiful Methow Valley, Washington

This weekend, let go of what keeps you from your dream;
Let go – into the abyss of your Self.

Join Jamie and Grace in 4 days of silence, community and nature to draw into your Self and your Source. This retreat will lead you to quiet your entire system in order to re-awaken your senses. Together we will unravel traumas and contractions as we engage our bodies in practices of drawing in, cleansing and moving through. We will learn to reflect upon the Earth’s natural rhythms and draw in the energies of the Autumnal Solstice – dreams, reflections and letting go.

Group sessions include daily guided breathwork and meditation, tools to release stored traumas and contractions, movement, sound and ceremony. You will leave with a blueprint for your daily practice – the foundation for healing. Come prepared to cleanse every dimension, seen and unseen, as we engage all systems in a conscious slowing down and reawaken our intuition to inwardly listen and heal.

Our food will reflect this intention to slow down and dissect our distractions. We will spend a day in digestive silence with organic juices, tea and water. All other meals will be light, fresh, organic, vegetarian, gluten, dairy and allergen-free. And, of course, made with Love.

Held at the beautiful Skalitude Retreat Center in the Methow Valley, WA, participants will have ample time to explore the ancient sacred lands, take a sweat in the sauna, and breathe and dance in the pristine natural surroundings. This is the perfect setting for you to remember your connection to the natural healing rhythms that live within and around you at all times.

The retreat will be held in a sacred container with opening and closing circles. We ask all attendees to arrive and depart as one group (times below) to honor this container. We also invite you to bring an offering as there will be a space to share your medicine and your dream.