Awakening to the Spiritual Heart: A One-Day Silent Retreat

Ready for a silent retreat but just not sure how to start?

Just for you, take a nibble of silence with the One-Day Silent Retreat.

When was the last time you spent a full day dedicated to being quiet, present and opening the heart?

Join this one-day Silent Retreat and give yourself a unique and profound opportunity to quiet the mind, rejuvenate the body and open the heart.

Come learn and practice silent meditation on the heart, calm and interiorized Tantric hatha yoga and techniques for daily life awareness which can lead to more moments of stillness, surrender, and joy in everyday life. This is the path of the Spiritual Heart.

We will explore The Spiritual Heart and it’s physical, emotional and spiritual implications, which can eventually lead us into the essence of our Being, our True Self. By cultivating an opening to this depth of our very Self and learning how to settle ourselves in this powerful center, we can drastically change our relationship to ourselves and to the world, giving us more space to be present, rooted, trusting and connected.

Using techniques from various esoteric tradition, we′ll learn how to create the best conditions for a life of presence, including cultivating awareness, mental concentration, opening the Heart and applying these techniques in daily life. The Tantric Yoga practice engages not only the physical body, but the entire being. Postures and breathing practices are performed with awareness, turning physical practice into blissful meditation.

No previous meditation or yoga experience is necessary as this retreat is designed for beginner and advanced meditators alike. All bodies and abilities are welcome. The day’s atmosphere will be one of love and spiritual growth.

Come for a day of silence and take peek into the deeper dimension of your being. If you’ve yet to experience the intimacy of silence, as a result, you will never forget the gateway it can be to Love, presence and surrender.
Snacks and tea will be provided. Please bring a lunch.

VALUE
Pre-register $55
At the door $60
Scholarships and assistantships available. Please ask.
Registration: https://bpt.me/4302605

 

Learn more about full silent retreats here

For 21 day meditation series click here

Hridaya Memorial Day Silent Meditation Retreat

silent retreat

Shift your relationship to life by quieting your mind, rejuvenating your body and opening your heart. The Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat is four days of noble silence, allowing you to drop the everyday acts of doing and sink into just being.  

Is life calling you to slow down?

Are you moving too fast to actually experience your life?

Are you ready for deep transformation but something is holding you back (like not knowing how or being afraid of what will happen?)

Then you’re ready for a meditation retreat – a silent meditation retreat.

Ah! Silent? Like not talking? That’s scary. I can’t imagine being silent for any length of time. I can’t even sit still for a few minutes without finding a distraction.

Right – which is why you feel so wound up. It takes time to slow down and learn how to let go – of your past, of your worries, of what the future might look like if you don’t have it all figured out. Trust me, you’re not alone. You’re one of millions of people Google searching how to let go of their worries and how to be more present and accepting.

A silent retreat is a kickstart to deep transformation, to slowing down and to learning how to enjoy every minute of life.

A silent retreat is for anyone who’s craving time to themselves, an inner transformation, and to experience what meditation can bring to their life. It sets you up for a disciplined personal practice and a road map to letting go.

What’s a silent retreat like?

The Hridaya Silent Meditation Retreat is structured to give you guidance every step of the way. Everyone is invited to practice noble silence throughout the entire retreat, from our opening circle to our closing circle. Retreat leaders will speak during sessions to offer teachings and guidance in the practices but will also be in silence outside of the sessions. You are encouraged to ask written questions about your experience, the teachings or anything you need during our retreat. You’ll always be able to contact a retreat leader for support.

We begin our morning practice at 7am and end the day around 9pm. Fear not! Our meditation sessions start out shorter and build up during the weekend. There is a 3-hour break after lunch for you to explore nearby trails, journal, ,  take a nap or rest. Three nourishing, vegetarian Ayurvedic meals are offered daily by a local chef using seasonal produce that helps you have the best retreat possible, not only in your mind and heart but also in your belly. Purify even more with a sweat in the wood-fired sauna in the evenings.  

A few times a day we practice Hatha Yoga – a gentle but deep meditative physical yoga practice in the style of Hridaya, the Yoga of the Spiritual Heart. Movements and poses are accessible for all bodies and give you even more tools to bring more awareness into your daily life through the body. Hridaya Yoga is distinct from other practices as it engages not only the physical body but the whole being. Postures and practices are performed with a focus on both the physical body and inner experience, turning physical practice into blissful meditation. If flow or vinyasa is your thing, there is also a time before dinner to do your own practice and those things that you know nourish you best.

What should I expect in a silent retreat?

Every silent meditation retreat is different – even if you attend the exact same retreat multiple times. The most important attitude to have in a silent retreat is to let go of expectations. There are moments of challenge and moments of bliss in a meditation retreat, times of discomfort and times of joy. A spirit of openness to what unfolds is essential to welcoming a retreat experience.

Grace and Dianna, your retreat leaders, have a decade of experience leading people through the personal transformation of yoga, meditation and silent retreats. We start with the basics of meditation and concentration techniques and build your understanding and experience throughout the weekend. Practices are accessible for beginning meditators and experienced meditators alike. You’ll learn how to listen to deeper parts of yourself – like that voice that’s been trying to be heard for years – through yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, daily life contemplation, spiritual curiosity, compassion and intentional integration.

You’ll leave with a renewed strength and momentum to develop a daily practice which keeps you more calm, centered and present than you’ve been before.

Our meditation retreat atmosphere is a safe space for you to try out different meditation and concentration practices, have a messy experience, and makes notes of how you want to bring these practices into your life. There’s no expectation that you do anything perfectly or that you can even sit still! We practice together by increasing the length of our meditations day by day and building up our stamina in the practice. Your humanness is welcome – exactly as you are.

You’ll have the space to share your retreat experience on the last day and we highly encourage everyone to witness others’ process and share your experience. This is sometimes the most profound session of the whole weekend after being in silence with fellow seekers for four days.

What do we do in a meditation retreat?

Hridaya Silent Retreats are created to intimately experience what meditation is and to feel the inner transformation it can bring. During our meditation retreat, we offer practices centered on the Spiritual Heart – another name for the essence of our being. Practices come from a variety of traditions, including esoteric Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism, Tantra, Taoism and Yoga. All religious backgrounds, faiths and lifestyles are welcome in the Spiritual Heart! The atmosphere is one of love and strong spiritual support.

 

No previous meditation or yoga experience is necessary as this silent retreat is designed for beginner and advanced meditators alike.

 

Using techniques from these vast, mystical traditions and Hridaya Yoga, we’ll learn how to create the best conditions for meditation including cultivating awareness, mental concentration, meditation techniques based on opening to the Spiritual Heart and how to apply these techniques in daily life. The last day will include practical and concrete integration practices like how to create a home practice and maintain an open heart in the challenging moments of life.

 

Where is the Silent Meditation Retreat?

We are blessed to be hosted by the Yoga Lodge on Whidbey Island in Washington State. The pristine nature sanctuary and retreat center has been hosting deep personal transformation and spiritual growth for decades and you can feel it the moment you arrive. You’ll drop into a quiet space of unwinding and you’ll feel the desire to slow down, breathe more deeply and step into silence. Our home in the woods is surrounded by natural beauty, walking trails, wild deer, and the silence of Whidbey Island. There is little to distract you here.

The Yoga Lodge on Whidbey Island sits on ten acres at the end of a private lane. It offers a place to pause and unplug from the stimulation of day-to-day life and access a quiet, connected presence. The lodge and its grounds are a nature sanctuary available for reflection, writing, marking a major life event, healing, connecting with nature and learning sacred practices such as meditation, yoga and Ayurveda. Your home at the Whidbey Yoga Lodge is simple and understated to support sadhana or practice, to inspire clarity, vision and understanding of the interconnectedness of all life.

What does it mean to be silent?

Silence starts with not talking…but it’s so much more.

We start with the intention to not talk or communicate once we set our container and begin the retreat. You are welcome to write notes to retreat leaders when you have questions or need assistance. Otherwise, we ask there to be no communication between guests, including not looking at other people’s faces, not making eye contact and not touching others. This may seem strict, but it opens the gateway to really focus internally, the whole point of a silent retreat. Once you get into the rhythm, you’ll be grateful for the space away from pleasing people or worrying about how they’ll react to you.

We ask all guests to maintain this noble silence throughout the retreat, which includes: no books, no electronics, no music, no phones or devices or other distractions. Again, this might feel extreme. The point is to not let yourself go to any distraction from what you’re really experiencing in the present moment. If taking a few days away from social media scares you, then you’re very ready for this journey.

We do encourage journaling to assist in the processing of your experience.

If you’ve never experienced the intimacy of silence – especially in today’s fast-paced, notification pinging, constant news driven, social media addicted, instant gratification world – you’ll never forget the spaciousness it brings. You’ll leave with more inner and outer love, tools to calm and center yourself, an understanding of what it means to let go, practices for deeper connection with other people, and the ability to be more present, conscious and to let go.  

We hope you’ll join us for this special weekend dedicated to YOU.

What have people experienced in silent retreats?

We’ll let our guests tell you in their own words what they’ve experienced in a silent meditation retreat.

This was truly one of the most memorable weekends. It left me feeling awake and focused. I am inspired to now have an unplugged time every day.” – Mona, South Korea

Grace creates an accessible, welcoming and safe environment that is both heart-warming and inspiring. Her energy and passion for what she does is infectious, so much so that a room full of strangers at the beginning of a weekend can feel like family by the end. You will be energized, challenged, comforted and much, much more. I cannot recommend this retreat enough.” – Ben, South Korea

This retreat has helped me reframe my expectations of myself and my expectations of others. I have been very judgmental of myself and I feel I have learned to let some of that go.” – Matt, Whidbey Island

After this retreat, I am committed to fear less, love more and to refresh my daily practice.” – Terri, Whidbey Island

I really benefitted from the meditation times that extended a little every day. I’ve been trying meditation on my own and using phone apps, but I’ve never tried more than 10-20 minutes. It showed me I can find a gap in the my thoughts without frustration and I can train my puppy mind. I also feel more connected to what love actually is after this retreat and how to focus on giving love in my life. I know now that if I give love from a selfless, compassionate place, I will also receive love.” – Tracie, Whidbey Island

During this retreat, I realized how distracted I am by my phone and laptop. I have loved being away from both and plan to have a few times daily when I look at them instead of just responding to every notification and sound.” – Jodi, Whidbey Island

This retreat helped me to reframe how I live every day! I’ve been wanting to return to the heart, but I’ve lost my way with the big changes and challenges of 2017. I want my heart to lead instead of the reactivity I have indulged in. The practices we did this weekend help me to connect the spiritual and physical and I’m inspired to keep practicing being in the Spiritual Heart.” Chrysalis, Whidbey Island

This weekend I really got the idea of responding instead of reacting to stress. I’m excited to apply the principles we’ve been using during meditation to my everyday life.” – Janet, Whidbey Island

Ready to know more or register?

If you have more questions, please contact us and ask! We’re happy to chat about your upcoming retreat experience and how you can feel the most comfortable and confident walking into a silent meditation retreat. It’s totally normal to be nervous, fearful or confused about a silent retreat and we’re happy to answer your questions and put your mind at ease.

Need financial assistance or a partial scholarship? Please contact us to talk about options.

 

A Sharing from the Heart: 59 Days in Silence

silent retreat

The following is a sharing by Grace Bryant that was recorded three days after the 49-day silent retreat in the winter of 2018 at Hridaya Yoga in Mexico. With the additional 10 days of retreat following the 49-days, the total time Grace spent in silence was 59 days. After two months of silence, Grace had these words to share. Please listen with an open heart and find inspiration for your own liberation practice. You can also read Grace’s written sharing at this link here. 

 

The Joy and Freedom of 59 Days of Silence

silent retreat

For all those on the Path of Awakening, may we all be inspired to surrender.

These days when we think of Tantra, we think of experimenting with sound, movement and sex, but the path of Tantra as it was created about 1500-1000 years ago was a dedicated path of spirituality that permeated every aspect of being. Initiates would undertake intensely disciplined practices to go beyond the limited perceptions of the mind, and often took months or years as a renunciate, away from their homes and families, away from anyone they knew and essentially, away from themselves.

Taking away sensorial input and committing to a practice of mauna, noble silence, has been a practice in every mystical awakening tradition since documented human history. It may seem extreme now, but it was common for rites of passage and initiations into different phases of life, especially for those who were healers, shamans and people with a longing for God–for the Divine spark manifest in our very being.

When I decided to apply for the 49-Day Silent Retreat at Hridaya, I didn’t think of any of those things. I just felt a longing in my heart for solitude and said yes. They said yes, too. And then I got very scared. What had I done? Would I really spend 40 days all alone in a room? Would I go crazy and lose my mind? (two very different things, come to find out) I’m quite used to living around the world and being on my own, but this was going to be a whole new level of “on my own.”

Sahajananda, my teacher and the founder of Hridaya Yoga, created the 49-Day Silent Retreat to support those with a longing to go deep. Many who live at the school have attended and come out the other side changed, in various ways. We all face our own challenges, breakthroughs and moments of transcending. The layout is this: 10 days at a group silent retreat with the school (50-100 people together) and then 40 days in solitude at a hotel an hour away from the school. One person on the retreat is dedicated to service, cooking us sattvic vegan meals twice a day and handling our needs, should they arise. In all that time, we practice noble silence which means no talking, making sound or looking at one another, a pivotal part of the practice of mauna. After this period of 49 days, there is an additional seven-day retreat which the school allows participants to join. We had 3 days of transition before the 7 days, making a grand total of 59 days in silence.

I won’t be able to share all of the experiences, thresholds and moments of surrender I experienced in this period, or in the weeks since, and that isn’t my intention. My intention going into the retreat was to surrender, surrender, surrender; to give up control and give up “me” at every turn. So, I’ll focus on these experiences, their arising and the residual space they’ve left, which is simply Love. I will not spend time defining the concepts. If they interest you, look into the Hridaya teachings which, in my opinion, capture the essence of the spiritual path of nonduality with clarity and Heart.

This article will be raw, vulnerable and imperfect. I invite you to read with the heart, rather than the mind, and to take in the essence, not necessarily the words. May whatever you take from this writing inspire your mind to quiet, your heart to open, and your faith in the path, to rise.

 

The Present Moment

I’ve been on the spiritual path for a while, long enough to understand that it takes a lot of time to ripen in the vision, and the deconditioning and persevering faith it takes to break free from the collective paradigm I find myself in. I’ve spent periods of three to four months at a time in spiritual schools, and experienced that the longer the time, the deeper the dive. But I’ve still always lived in “time,” meaning the construct of days, hours and minutes. I’ve been tied to the clock since I can remember, and have lived, as most of us, fragmented between doing this and doing that.

From the first day of the retreat, I decided to let go of time completely. Let go of what day it was, what time it was, how long I’d been practicing or sleeping or doing anything. I found it easier intended than done. There was a struggle for the first week or two in solitude as my mind desperately wanted to compare how much I had meditated or practiced today versus yesterday, and especially how much time until the meal was served (we received one meal at 11:30am and one at 6pm). In the 10-day retreat, I never looked at the clock except to be at school at a certain time for sessions. Once in solitude, I didn’t set my morning alarm, didn’t time my practices and in fact, turned the clock around so I wouldn’t see the time unless I intentionally picked it up and looked. There were a few times I was struggling with practicing more or taking a break, so I was glad I did have the clock to relieve me of the feeling of anticipation. As with the deconditioning process of most things, there were a lot of patterns and tendencies to break through. For me, being able to say, “I meditated for this long” has always been a way that I value myself. My mind just loves comparison, especially comparing with myself. So, this was something to drop again and again whenever it came up.

Eventually there came a moment, maybe two weeks into the five-and-half weeks of solitude, when the idea of practicing and not practicing ceased. Where there was no separation between being on my mat or eating a meal or taking a walk on the beach. Eating a banana mid-morning became simply a continuation of awareness; eyes open or closed, walking or sitting, lying or stretching, it all became simply Being instead of doing. My teacher advised us before the retreat, “Let go of whatever you do and simply Be in joy.” So, I did. No time. No comparison. No right or wrong.

This isn’t to say there weren’t thoughts about those habitual tendencies of the mind. Thoughts were there, but at a certain point, they didn’t register as “my” thoughts or anything worth taking notice of. They just arose and fell into the background of consciousness. After a while, that background became my only identification. Instead of identifying with the waves, I sank into the ocean of the present moment.

 

Sleeping and Waking

I decided to experiment with sleep, a practice recommended in the Yoga and Tantra traditions. During 10-day silent retreats, I typically start lucid dreaming, not sleeping much, and remaining conscious most of the night. This time, when we went into solitude, I started an experiment where I slept most of the night lying on my back with a glass of water on my chest to keep me conscious, even when I eventually fell into the state of sleep. Within a few days, I hardly lost consciousness in the night at all, but rested deeply and maintained consciousness throughout the night.

I also found what I like to call “the sweet spot” between waking and sleeping, a deeply restful state with the eyes open or closed with a fully present consciousness and completely relaxed body and mind. I discovered this during lying down meditations, which I began practicing during solitude to relieve myself of chronic neck and shoulder pain. Soon I discovered that it put me in this sweet spot where I could stay for hours or longer.

When I discovered that this deep place could continue through the day and night, I started perceiving that time just continued to be the present moment with no interruptions except the wandering attention of the mind. And eventually that dropped away and was not a distraction.

 

Impermanence & Spontaneity

Another effect of the continuous present moment awareness was the feeling of prolonged spontaneity. I found myself surprised by what I chose to do in the moment, be it going for a walk, sitting in meditation, lighting incense, taking a nap, etc. I stopped planning anything, and more noticeably I stopped trying to be efficient. When I took my first Hridaya meditation retreat, this was a concept I deeply resonated with: letting go of the efficiency mind that tries to be one step ahead of the moment. This future-jumping mind gets in the way of the present moment being perfect, surprising and magical as it unfolds; it judges right and wrong based on what it thinks will be best before it actually happens. This was the existing programming of my mind.

This present moment perception led to an understanding of impermanence, a central tenet of Buddhist wisdom. The only thing permanent is existence-consciousness itself, not any thought, emotion, energy or material creation. These come and go, if we let them, and dissolve back into the Pure consciousness. As I watched every one of these rise and fall, rise and fall, I started to see the deep Truth in this teaching: that all things are impermanent. ALL things. This understanding led to the ability to surrender more and more.

I found myself letting every day, every meditation and yoga practice be different. Instead of grasping at how they should be or if they went deep or what I was experiencing, I just let them be exactly as they unfolded. And in that unfolding was the most beautiful state of Joy. The Joy of Being in the moment. I know this sounds like every clichéd spiritual teaching. I can hear that. And yet, it’s exactly what I felt and still feel.

The only intention I carried into my days was to create the best conditions in each moment. That meant following the needs of my body, like eating less and less as my metabolism slowed way down, and moving less and less as my heart rate slowed way down. Or even going for a run on the beach if there was a big upsurge of energy–if something felt different, I went with that exactly as it was. It may not seem like rocket science, but for me this letting go of all expectations whenever I noticed them come up led to a huge shift in how my days played out. And continuing to be in the present moment now that I’m teaching and writing again brings this Joy more and more into whatever I’m doing in the world.

 

Challenges

There were hard moments and hours. For me, three demons especially plagued my thoughts, and it wasn’t until I could automatically send compassion to the thoughts and people they were about, that they began to dissolve.

The first was about my intimate relationships and letting go of expectations around what things would look like when I came out. There was a solid week where this came to my mind every day. Sometimes I ignored it and let it float by, which it always eventually did. And sometimes I looked at it, examined what was sticky, what stories it triggered for me and why it kept coming back again and again. I began to uncover that some thoughts simply are triggered by imagination or memory of other thoughts. They come up and overlap until the mind/ego grabs on and starts to weave a story. And some thoughts just come up because we’ve deemed them important and have programmed our mind to go to them again and again. This is a thought pattern, I realized, that I had deemed important, as meaning something about “me.” And that’s the level where I had to let it go. Nothing that happens in my relationships means anything about who I am or who my partners are.

About this, a passage from my journal: “During a series of external events last night, I watched the monkey mind. It really does attach to the next thing that comes up bigger than what it’s currently attached to. One thing seemed so big and all encompassing for the mind, then the next totally superseded it, then the next. The one before disappeared (for a while) because the mind just dramatizes and tries to get something wedged in the hamster wheel to play over and over again. When the energies of the Heart are more aroused than the mind, it all dissolves again right after it comes up. There are many thoughts still, but they just don’t matter so much anymore. They just come and go like trains passing by, but the awareness of the whole station is greater.”

As a reflection, having been home a few weeks now, I’m so grateful to have spent time looking at the sticky points. Of course, the expectations that were secretly hiding away about what my intimate relationships would look like three months later, do not live up to their stories. And external life has shifted. In a way, I tested myself to see what would happen if such and such a story came to be. I prepared myself for the things that have actually happened and for possible situations in the future. It feels like my heart has expanded to take in every possible outcome, instead of weaving through what makes me comfortable and avoiding the discomfort. And, of course, it’s impossible to avoid discomfort when relating with other people.

The second demon was a life situation in which I felt I had failed just days before I left for the retreat. This thought came up again and again and again, day after day after day. At first, I spent a lot of mental energy justifying my actions, saying to myself “it’s okay that I did that,” and creating a whole story about why it was okay. So basically, I was in big, fat resistance to what was, and the story I created about it. When this thought pattern would begin to arise, it pulled all of my attention and I couldn’t focus on anything else for minutes or longer. And then one morning I was journaling and realized that this was what was meant by a demon. I remembered the story of the Buddha facing his last demon in his final meditation under the Bodhgaya tree and sending unending love and compassion until it dissolved. So I tried this, and . . . it worked. It worked like a magic wand. When I opened my heart instead of closing it off and being in resistance, my pain and reaction dissolved, my hurt dissolved, my identity around the story dissolved. I sent compassion to the people affected in the situation and I sent compassion to myself. And within 48 hours, it was completely gone and never disturbed my thoughts again.

This became my routine when anything triggered hurt, pain or identity gripping: open the heart, breathe into the heart and send Love to anyone affected by this thought. I can tell you after experimenting with this for about seven weeks: it works. And it is incredibly purifying to the mind. Instead of creating more and more thoughts, it leaves the mind quiet, calm and still; capable of perceiving the True nature, the background of stillness, instead of being obsessed by thoughts.

My third demon was food. It usually happens that what normally challenges you in everyday life comes up in retreat. Having struggled with lifelong mental and physical challenges around food, I knew this was going to come up, and it really did. On the very first day of my 59 days, I got quite sick, and after purging my body of any food in my system, I didn’t eat a meal for the next 48 hours. Fasting is not a regular practice for me, as it usually stirs up my control issues around food and I’ve found it healthier the last few years to just eat whatever I want and create a relationship of freedom with food. But this period of necessary fasting – for my body, not my mind–felt physically very purifying, and left me quite available to the lightness of the body that was to come. And it triggered a whole slew of patterns about being happy that I wasn’t eating. For years, maybe decades, I used food to feel in control, especially the decision to not eat. Sometimes that would turn into binging, too. In this extended period of silence, I watched all of this come up – every single day. And every day I did my best to return to the Heart, return to the freedom of Pure Being, while witnessing the patterns that have kept me locked in control around food for 20+ years. I made some deep discoveries that unlocked those patterns and eventually realized this: I Am Free. Totally free to choose my relationship with anything in the outside world.

Three weeks out of retreat, I can now say that this is a lasting change. So much of my energy has been released by not constantly worrying about what/how/why I’m eating, and just listening to what my body really wants. The mind doesn’t need to be involved in these decisions at all. What joy.

 

Surrender

At the beginning of our journey, Sahajananda said, “The spiritual journey is about going into uncharted territories. It’s about giving up the limitations of control. It requires a constant reconnection to the unknown.” This quote stayed with me and carried me through many scary moments of surrender. At first that surrender was active, with the intention that I, Grace, am giving up something, like a pattern or habit, a piece of identity or a story of reacting to external situations.

Then one afternoon when conditions seemed the worst to sit and meditate, a fit of laughter seized me, and the surrender became beyond me. I’ve heard many spiritual teachers talk about the Divine Mercy bringing surrender, and this was the experience I began to have more and more. Instead of “me” letting go of “something,” I started letting go of me. I stopped believing I was a separate thing or that there was anything separate from me. I began experiencing the world as One.

This perception carried through to more and more moments of my day and led to deeper experiences of surrender. As the control mechanisms of my mind tried to take over, I chose to surrender and go deeper into the unknown. I opened to those moments of feeling beyond a “me;” I let surrender win over fear. And the joy just kept opening and opening to unlimited depths.

One passage from my journal around day 40 said, “Carefree, light, childlike, joyful, spontaneous, gleeful, sweet and tender. No pushing into surrender, just letting go.”

 

Freedom

Sahajananda often talks about a sense of transparency and availability to the Divine Flow. Around the third week in solitude, I started understanding what this meant. With no one recognizing me, seeing me, talking to me, I started to feel like a ghost. Being in a constant state of meditation, I felt I was becoming more and more transparent, full of more light and less material. I watched my body processes slow to nothing, including my digestion and my blood pressure. No mirrors, no being seen. It was the most incredible phenomenon to become as light as light and to feel like I was floating in the air.

This had a massive effect on my consciousness in that I felt less separate and more unified with everything around me; that my Being was one and the same as all things, or that perhaps there are no individual beings, just one Being of which I am a part. From my journal: “Noticing that not looking in the mirror this long creates a bit of a separation from the body – Who Am I becomes a more real question…Who is it that’s looking through my eyes? Who hears with my ears?”

After a few weeks of intense investigation of the mind, I stumbled into this state of transparency and began to see the mind as transparent. Near the middle of the retreat I wrote, “There is an unbelievable vastness of the mind – how inconceivably infinite the power of perception is. Today I felt like I was melting the mental separateness I usually experience into union.” Along with this, internal and external stopped feeling differentiated, and from this came a feeling of freedom: first in small drips and eventually in waterfalls. The feeling of Joy – a permanent joy, not the fleeting happiness experienced from external circumstances being how I want them to be – was the new state of Pure Being. And the vastness into which I was melting felt simply free. As Sahajananda says, “There is such a freedom in solitude.” Yes, I found that freedom. And now I get to play in it while doing my daily activities, making phone calls, driving and playing in life.

The day we broke silence was incredible. Tears poured from seemingly nowhere for hours. The idea of talking or looking or being on my device was so far from any desire I had. In fact, I noticed a few days after the retreat ended that I was in a desire-less state. There was nothing I wanted except to keep diving into the ocean of the Heart, the ocean of God. As I move back into my work of personal coaching, Spiritual teaching and leading silent retreats, my only desire is to offer these teachings to others so that they may feel this peace of Pure Being and Joy of the Heart in their lives. So that we may all choose to surrender our identities and live in the Bliss of Compassion that comes from the transparent expression of the Heart.

In the last three weeks, the overall sensation of integration I’ve felt is one of stability. No longer does my spiritual path feel like achieving states of consciousness. Instead, it feels like a sweet naturalness and awareness that extends and expands. I notice when the triggers of my patterns come up, and instead of reacting to them like I have in the past, there is a tender compassion for my own stories. I can see how attaching to my identities and unconscious patterns in the past has caused so much suffering, and choose to forgive myself and others when I see these memories. I notice the wandering attention of my mind with laughter, not seriousness, and let my awareness return to the gravity of the Heart. And at the bottom of all this is Love. Just Love.

Silence Meets Soma

two women smiling and dancing

Join Jamie and Grace in a 4-day silent retreat in nature to draw into your Self and your Source. This retreat will lead you to quiet your entire system in order to re-awaken your senses. Together we will unravel traumas and contractions as we engage our bodies in practices of drawing in, cleansing and
moving through.

This weekend, let go of what keeps you from your dream; Let go – into the abyss of your Self.

Group sessions include daily guided breath-work and meditation, tools to release stored traumas and contractions, movement, sound and ceremony. You will leave with a blueprint for integrating your daily practice – the foundation for healing. Come prepared to cleanse every dimension, seen and unseen, as we engage all systems in a conscious slowing down and reawaken our intuition to inwardly listen and heal.

Our food will reflect this intention to slow down and dissect our distractions. We will spend a day in digestive silence through fasting and cleansing practices. All other meals will be light, fresh, organic, vegetarian, gluten, dairy and allergen-free. And, of course, made with Love.

Held at the beautiful Sahale Retreat Center on the Washington Peninsula outside Belfair, participants will have ample time to explore the earth and water, take a hot or cold soak, and breathe and dance in the pristine natural surroundings of the rainforest. This is the perfect setting for you to remember your connection to the natural healing rhythms that live within and around you at all times.

The retreat will be held in a sacred container of silence with opening and closing rituals. We ask all attendees to arrive and depart as one group (times below) to honor this container. You will be fully supported as we guide you to re-discover your inner healer in this uniquely created weekend of deep connection.

You are so much more than what you experience, see and know.

Your magnificent body holds all of the wisdom to heal and awaken, to remember the spirit of your soul and let go…