Mindful (S)expectations

 In Love, Non-attachment, Polyamory, Relationships, Sex

Oh, the tangled webs we weave when we pretend to not have expectations. Talk about setting yourself up for failure.

It’s a funny thing, really, to walk into a long-anticipated connection with an intimate partner and think that you’re both coming in with the same intentions and emotions. Last September, my lover Lila and I met in Mexico, after 2 months of being apart.

Instead of talking about our expectations and where we currently were, we just showed up, without too much communication over the previous month.

We tried to believe that all would go swimmingly, while secretly asking ourselves:

Would we love each other the same?
Would we still see the Goddess in one another?
Would we be as hungry for each other as we were the last time?
Would the changes in our other lovers change how we related? For better or worse?

We didn’t actually ask any of these questions aloud.

What we did do was show up with a whole truckload of unspoken expectations and fears. Seven days later, we parted ways again – me to Mexico for the fall and Lila back home to Sydney – having returned to the bliss of remembering our deep love for one another and the recognition of the Divine in our connection.

But it wasn’t fucking easy. Shit came up. Again and again.

And what did we do?

We remembered that conflict is actually part of a relationship. And we didn’t let each other walk away.

Read the full article on Omooni.

Recommended Posts